It is Okay to Set Limits?
It is Okay to Set Limits?
While you might like doggy-style sex, standing sex might not allow you to focus on enjoying the pleasure. Some people may be okay with restraints and rope bondage, but bending knees at intricate angles brings pain for days afterwards. Additionally, some partners love nipple clamps, but extending them on their genitals is a sure turnoff. You may find BDSM sex enjoyable with all its dominance, submission, sadism and masochism, while others never find anything interesting in kinky intimacy. Whatever the case, particular limits exist in sex life, and they draw a clear line between what partners will do and what they won’t. This article explains why consenting partners need to discuss openly and understand if it is okay to set limits.
Types of Limits
Limits, as the name denotes, refer to things you won’t do for various reasons, such as past hurts, disinterest, medical implications or pure distaste for the activities. Partners will remain on the same page when they discuss what they like or dislike during sex in any scene. Limits during sex exist in two major categories that include soft and hard limits.
Soft limits comprise things that people don’t find interesting, but they make reservations to try under appropriate circumstances. On the other hand, hard limits are things people will never do, without any exceptions, irrespective of circumstances. Setting limits remains integral to BDSM sex, where bondage, dominance, submission and sadomasochism characterize every scene.
Why Setting Limits is Important
Ensure there is an Informed Consent
Consent is indispensable to any sexual activity among partners in every relationship. Informed consent does not occur before you engage with a new partner; it should always happen before any sexual advances. Consenting to participate in BDSM is essential, especially when you want to try an unusual thing for the first time. Communication is essential to healthy sexual relationships and remains obligatory when exploring submissive and dominant roles as they can potentially cause pain.
Adherence to Safe Words
Establishing the safe words to use during rigorous sexual acts should occur even before setting the limits. Ensure you agree the best way you and your partner can immediately halt an action before even setting the limits. You may be an experienced kinky sex but encounter a limit you never thought existed during the scene.
You might have worked hard the previous night such that the common spanking hurts. Ensure you set appropriate words to use when you want your partner to stop anything that hurts to avoid ruining your pleasure. People use color coding where red means stop, yellow denotes slowing down and green allows you to continue.
Limits Help You Focus on What You Love
Partners who engage in BDSM sex start by listing things they would like to do before getting down to the real business. The list here should feature things like spanking, rope bondage or any adventurous thing you find okay. Ensure you consider the parameters that match your pleasures as you make a list and set applicable limits.
Let your partner know if you like spanking but only with hands and nothing else. Such a negotiation helps you fulfill your curiosity by trying out anything you want to do in your sex life. Kinky sex creates the right circumstances that allow you to engage in any sex position or role play you have always imagined.
Limits Enhance Safety in BDSM
Partners should communicate their feelings clearly to avoid disappointment, hurt, shame, anger and any other adverse impact when pushing limits. Honest communication and respect from both sides are necessary when discussing any action. The dominant partner should know that not everything that feels enjoyable will excite the sub. Let the submissive partner agree on what is comfortable and the boundaries you should not cross without consent. Active consent is always necessary, especially when venturing into new actions that seem terrifying to the recipient.
Establishing your limits during any sexual encounter prevents anything that may ruin your experiences. Working on the soft limits may also reveal how much you can handle as you explore the hidden sexual pleasures with your partner. Practicing kinky sex does not mean trying anything that endangers anybody’s life but enjoying the moment with your partner differently. Setting proper limits in BDSM scenes enables partners to engage in safe, consensual and sane sex.